Feeling unconfident or diffident in different areas of your life can be debilitating and chip away at your self-esteem. It’s easy to look at other people, see how confident they are and think that you could never be that way. However, all of us can learn how to be more confident
If you’re wondering how to be more confident, one of the first things that you will have to decide is what being confident means for you. Is it that you’ll be able stand up and make a speech in public, is it that you’ll be able to question some who you’re in awe over like a doctor or lawyer, is it that you’ll be able to tell saome you love that they’ve upset you or perhaps you want the confidence to travel aboad.
Thinking it through will give you a picture of what is that you’re going to have to do to increase your confidence. Don’t just think well I want to be more confident about everything. It’s much easier to start with one part of your life and learn how to be more confident in that area, and then transfer what you have learnt and experienced into other areas of your life.
For me there are two key elements that you need in order to learn how to be more confident.
- You need to be committed to wanting to change. No one says it’s going to be easy, but without commitment you’re wasting your time.
- Confidence is a skill and like any other skill you need to practice, practice, practice. If you’re not prepared to practice, then you won’t learn how to be more confident, and you’ll reinforce the negative feelings you already have.
So these are my tips for how to be more confident in your life.
1. Tap into the confidence that you were born with and have used. Even if you have to go back a very long way, there was a time when you felt confident about something. Remember that time and what you were doing and what it felt like. Those feelings can be transferred from a past situation, to the present and the future
2. Learn from people who are confident. If you want to learn how to be more confident then spend time observing other people. This is not so you can directly copy them. This is so you can look and learn from what they do, how they behave.
3. Trust your capabilities.You manage you own life. You get up every day and you accomplish different things – so you need to trust your own capabilities. You are a capable person.
4. Expect success. Negative self-talk is so destructive and if it’s something you constantly use, then you have to learn to banish it. Practice visualisation techniques.
5. Sample the unknown. Be prepared to sample the unknown. Yes it may be scary, but you have to try. Break whatever you need to feel more confident about into its smallest part and address one tiny bit at a time.eg If you find it difficult to talk to people, work out at what stage you find it difficult
6. Review your image. The way we dress has a direct impact on how we feel and our confidence. If you’re wearing badly fitting clothes, clothes that are obviously out of date (not retro or vintage) or clothes that need mending you will not feel best. Similarly, if you never get your hair cut or don’t take any care of your skin or nails it will impact on your confident.
7. Check your posture. Slouching, avoiding eye contact is not conducive to feeling confident. Hold your head up, walk tall with your head held up
8. Take regular exercise. There is plenty of medical evidence to show the benefits of exercise on our health and well being. If you fail to keep fit you will not find it easy to improve your confidence.
9. Get plenty of sleep. Don’t waste time trying to burn the midnight oil, worrying about how to become more confident. Your brain needs the rest that good sleep can bring.
Following the tips I suggest that are relevant to you will make a difference to your confidence However, If you’re in the position where you need more in depth help then consider coaching, NLP or counselling whichever is appropriate your need.