One of the most important aspects of goal setting is deciding who else has a part to play in you achieving your goals. Of course the person who has the ultimate responsibility is you, but many of the goals we set for ourselves have an effect on other people.
Along your journey to achieving your goals, it’s imperative that as well as managing the expectations of yourself, you should also manage the expectations of others.
There are four basic stages to achieving goals:
- Set achievable goals.
- Strategise and plan.
- Take action
- Review progress regularly
However, I would like to discuss some of the other important elements that are needed as your work your way through the four stages.
Have the right attitude
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. Winston Churchill
One of the key elements in achieving goals is your attitude and the attitude of others. Make sure you have the right attitude from the outset.
1. Believe in your goals and your own ability to complete them: If you don’t believe in yourself, don’t expect other people to.
2. Keep motivated: Pick yourself up even if things go wrong. You must have the right attitude towards things going wrong. It may be demoralising, but to achieve your goals, learn and then move on.
3. Review your goals regularly: Goals are not set in stone. If something isn’t quite right or working in the way that you expected, don’t be concerned about changing it.
4. Don’t involve other people in your goals if they’re not supportive. This is advice that I repeat over and over again, but it’s always worth repeating. Too often we experience disappointment when other people don’t have the same attitude to our goals or achievements as we do. Don’t discuss your goals with unsupportive friends, families or colleagues.
Confront any fears
The fear of criticism robs man of his initiative, destroys his power of imagination, limits his individuality, takes away his self-reliance, and does him damage in a hundred other ways. Napoleon Hill
If you have any residual fears that are stopping you achieving your goals then they need to be confronted. These fears may be about your own abilities or fear of other people’s opinions and .expectations
1. Banish negative self talk: Practice saying 5 good things about yourself every day until it’s habit.
2. Break goals down into bite-sized pieces: If you have a goal that’s difficult to complete and you keep avoiding, break it down into manageable bite size pieces.
3. Don’t let other people’s expectations overwhelm you: –Remember these are your goals If you’re feeling the weight of others expectations talk to them about it and tell them to back off.
Enjoy your achievements
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” Les Brown
When you’re focussed on an end goal, it can be very easy to forget about celebrating your achievements as you go along. End goals may be your overall target but don’t forget to stay in the moment and enjoy your progress.
1. Record your progress: Keep some sort of record about what you have achieved. Personally I like pictorial records because they make me smile and I have a constant visual reminders around the house. However, they’re not for everyone but I do think you need to record your progress, so when you’re struggling you have something to remind yourself how well you have done.
2. Celebrate milestones: It’s really important that you celebrate particular milestones. How you choose to celebrate is up to you. It doesn’t have to be something that costs money, nor does it have to be a celebration that you hold with other people, but it is important that you give yourself more than a mental pat on the back for what you’ve achieved.
Be honest with yourself and others
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.–Dr. Suess
When you’re trying to achieve your goals at the same time as managing the expectations of others, it’s very important that you are honest with other people as well as yourself. If you don’t you can find that it adversely affects your goals.
1. Ask for help: If you need extra help to achieve your goals don’t be embarrassed to ask for it.
2. Respond effectively to dips in motivation: If you’re struggling to be motivated, look honestly about why it’s happened. Is it because you’re bored, you’re scared….? Whatever the reason might be – be honest. If you’re not you’ll harm your chances of achieving it and find it difficult to overcome your struggles.
3. Talk to others: If you’re struggling with goals and you’ve told other people about them. Talk about it. If you have chosen wisely, they may have some good suggestions that will keep you on track.
I hope you find these tips useful on how to achieve your goals and manage the expectations of others. What do you do to achieve your goals?